The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team's Competitive Advantage by CrisMarie Campbell Susan Clarke

Author:CrisMarie Campbell, Susan Clarke
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Two Hummingbird Press
Published: 2017-04-05T04:00:00+00:00

To be an influential and effective leader of people, you need to show up as a whole person. Don’t treat yourself and others as machines. Use your natural resources: your heart, mind, and inherent willingness to engage. When you do, your people will follow suit. Your willingness to be vulnerable, curious, and courageous provides a powerful model for those you lead.

The challenge of leadership is to include your whole self. When you do, you have easier access to your own creativity and intuition. You connect more effectively with the people you lead because you are more congruent, increasing your influence with your people, and building trust and loyalty.

CHOOSING INFLUENCE

A few years back we coached Todd, the Executive Director of a large inner-city non-profit Community Center. His mission from the board was to introduce new youth programs to revitalize the center. He was met with resistance from long-time staffers. We discussed using both vulnerability and curiosity with this staff as keys to influence.

At an all-staff day, Todd invited the new youth program leaders to introduce their program to the rest of the staff by providing experiential activities to encourage buy-in from the rest of the staff.

As the youth program leaders kicked off the activities, a group of four older staff members sat back to observe. When Kelly, one of the youth program leaders, inquired about their decision, the response was, “We are too old for learning new tricks. Best we just watch.” Kelly nodded and started to move on.

Todd immediately jumped up and challenged the group, “Hey guys come on! How can you resist this stuff?”

The group’s spokesman, Frank, was about to disagree to the challenge when CrisMarie stepped in.

“Wait, Todd, can I check in with you?” Todd nodded.

“Just quickly, can you tell me how vulnerable you are being? Are you being real or hidden right now?” No one else had a clue what CrisMarie meant, but Todd did.

“Hmm, not much. I guess I’m showing up like an Accommodator. Let me try it again,” Todd replied. CrisMarie nodded.

Todd took a breath. “Okay, what’s real is that I am frustrated. I want you long-time staffers to give these youth programs a chance. You need to know the youth program is happening. This is the direction our mission is headed, and I’d like you to join us. If you choose not to, then I’m going to have to make tougher decisions.”

The group was silent.

CrisMarie acknowledged Todd for being real and vulnerable and reminded him about curiosity.

“So, now you know where I am. I want to know why this is so challenging for you. I know I haven’t been listening, and maybe now that I have gotten this off my chest, I can. Tell me what stops you from joining?”

The older staff were definitely surprised, and then Frank responded, “We thought you were going to fire us or replace our programs, and it sure seemed like all you were interested in was the new youth direction. Sounds like there is some truth to that.”

Todd paused.

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